So I have a question for you…one I want you to really think about. How are you doing? I mean how are you really doing? Are you afraid to be really honest answering that question? Afraid people might judge you? Afraid to admit the truth?

I get it!! I was there, not too long ago. 

So if you are afraid to answer it, I will go first. Hopefully my story will encourage you to be honest with yourself and those you love. 

 It has been a hard month or so. Actually since turning 50, things have been hard. I have cried many tears, sometimes I don’t even know why, except my hormones are out of whack. But I am working on that. However Jimmy and I hit a rough patch. Something happened at the end of August that affected us, we thought things were better.

Last week in church we did a spiritual check up and forgiveness was one of the things that I didn’t do well in 2023 and something I knew I needed to change and do better in 2024. After a conversation with Jimmy and us talking about the spiritual checkup, he said to me you know  you need to forgive. Do you know how hard it is to forgive someone you have very little respect for? While this situation was out of our control, I know deep down inside God had a reason for it. I also know in order for us to move forward, I had to forgive this person. I had to truly forgive this person that hurt my husband and did something that I don’t agree with and many other people didn’t agree with too. I had to forgive the person that made things harder on our family. While this situation was out of our control, I know deep down inside God had a reason for it. I also know in order for us to move forward, I had to forgive this person. Again…forgiveness can be hard. 

All of this bitterness and unforgiveness built up inside me and affected our marriage, without really realizing it. So to this person…I forgive you for what you did. I also know God’s plan is much greater than I can imagine and this person probably can even imagine. God has a reason for everything and while we don’t understand the why to everything, it is time to forgive and move on. 

We are in a much better place than we were and I want to share with you what we are doing to build a stronger marriage and better versions of ourselves. 

• Listening-I mean really listening, stopping what we are doing and listening. 
• Communication-being honest with our feelings and speaking in a way that shows love, like if we are having a rough day and don’t have a lot to give, we are being honest with what we have to give…I can’t give more than 40%, I am drained from work.
• Spending more time with God together and on our own with God.
• Praying together at the beginning of the day and at the end of the day. 
• Communicating during the day to say I love you and I am praying for you. Asking what do you need me to pray for right now? 

I believe as moms, we tend to hide our emotions and keep things bottled up inside, which isn’t really good. We want to be that strong dependable person, that superhero we think we have to be. However these past 4 months, I have learned that being truly honest about our feelings and telling Jimmy what I need is the best way to go. I ask for help more than I ever have before. I am telling him what I need from him and he is telling me what he needs from me. Like he told me I needed to forgive this person, for us to move forward. Sometimes being honest is hard and sometimes we just don’t want to hear the truth. But being able to be completely honest and communicate with your spouse about everything is the key to a strong marriage. 

Love,

Billie-Jo