Our goal at the beginning of this year was to go on more dates. As parents that is not always easy, but it is necessary. Those dates are important to keep you connected as a married couple. With Jimmy’s schedule we do a date day or a lunch date a few times a month. However date nights are a little more difficult. Finding a babysitter can be tough and honestly paying a babysitter is expensive. I am not saying going out and paying a sitter isn’t worth it. Honestly by night time I really just want to be home. Truth be told, I am becoming such a homebody.

Put the dates on your calendar!!

However, give me an at home date night and we have a win. So we do these 1-2 times a month. This is how we get it to work. We feed the kids first. Usually I cook them something easy, sometimes it is CFA. It really depends on the day. But we want to make their night fun for them so we can do our date at home. Once they have eaten and are ready for bed, they go upstairs to the loft to watch a movie. In the future, I will let them eat dinner upstairs (something not super messy, let’s be real, this takes a lot for this momma to let them eat upstairs). We like to get mats, an air mattress, blankets and pillows out for them. Sometimes they all sleep in the loft. When they were a little bit younger and were going to bed earlier, we would put them to bed first and then start our date night. 

For our date, it is about connecting with each other. One of us will cook dinner or get take out. It is about both of us helping to make it special. Sometimes I do more to get ready for it and other times Jimmy does more. The point is we plan for the date together. Sometimes I will surprise Jimmy and when he gets home I say it’s at home date night, kids are upstairs watching a movie. It is ok to be spontaneous.

We talk a lot, watch a movie or catch up on shows and snuggle after we are done eating. We usually have popcorn, because Jimmy makes the best popcorn. We have so much, we don’t spend much time on our phone or very little. Here are some ways to make it a little more romantic

• Light some candles
• Make it cozy
• Pour some wine or your favorite drink
• Plan your spouse’s favorite meal
• Buy your spouse a small bouquet of flowers
• Buy a dessert that is fun to eat together
• Rub your wife’s feet without her asking you to

In the past few months, really since we came back from our first kid free vacation, we have focused on more dates. Sometimes it is him meeting me for a quick cup of coffee, while the kids are in therapy. Sometimes it is meeting him for lunch while he is at work. We are trying to be more intentional with connecting. 

Here are 5 things we do daily to make sure we are connecting

1. Devotions together in the morning
2. Texting each other during the day checking in to make sure we are having a good day and if not what can we do to help
3. Doing something small to help the other person
4. Pray together before we go to bed
5. Spend 15 minutes talking about our day

Put God first in your marriage. Don’t get to the point where you are too busy for the little things. Know your spouse’s love language and focus on that. Be honest with each other. Make it a point to connect and make the other person a priority. 

No we aren’t perfect, but we have been through a lot with adopting three kids and facing new challenges and adjusting to that new life. We share our struggles with each other, but we have learned a lot. 

Love,

Billie-Jo