I need to start by apologizing. I often talk about routines, habits and ways to make life easier because I truly believe in their power. But I worry that I might be giving the impression that our life is perfect—and that’s far from the truth. We don’t live in a picture-perfect home, and I definitely don’t have it all together. As a mom, I mess up daily. I get frustrated when I have to repeat myself three times only to be ignored and I lose my patience when my kids lie to avoid consequences (they are horrible liars too). But despite the imperfections, our routines and habits have helped me embrace being perfectly imperfect.

Everything I teach and share is meant to support you, not to push you towards some unattainable ideal of perfection. The truth is, if we constantly strive for perfection, we set ourselves up for disappointment and stress. Nothing will ever feel good enough and our expectations will become unrealistic. This is not the example I want to set for our children, nor the mindset I want to pass on to them. I’m pretty sure we all have that one kid that thinks they need to be perfect. 

It’s a significant mindset shift that took me a while to make. I used to have the highest expectations for myself and my home. I would even clean before the cleaning crew came, just so they wouldn’t think we were messy. Clutter in my home felt like clutter in my mind, especially as I’ve gotten older. But the more I clung to those high expectations, the more overwhelmed I became, and the more I felt like I was failing.

But then, God spoke to me—through devotions, through quiet moments of reflection—and I realized I needed to pray for a change of heart, which was hard to swallow. 

Here’s what I learned…

If I insist on everything being done to my standard, I’ll end up doing it all myself or forcing my kids to redo their tasks until they get it “right.” But doing this would only lead them to resent both me and the chores. Yet, how can they improve if they don’t practice?

I had a conversation with JJ about this recently. JJ has learning disabilities—right eye tracking issues, dyslexia, and challenges with reading and math. He’s incredibly smart, but he struggles and often feels discouraged. I reminded him how practice has helped him succeed in other areas, like riding a bike or climbing the 12-foot warp wall. It took time and effort, but with persistence, he achieved those goals. I told him that reading is the same—it’s going to take a lot of practice, but the more he does it, the better he’ll get.

Changing my expectations didn’t happen overnight. It took time to find a balance that worked for me and my family.

And here’s the balance we’ve found: We all pitch in to help around the house, and I’ve learned to choose a few crumbs on the floor or table over perfection. What’s more important to me is that we are living in our home, not just maintaining it. We’re laughing, having fun, making some messes and making memories. 

So the next time you look at your home, ask yourself: crumbs or perfection?

These days, I don’t run around frantically trying to make everything perfect before guests arrive. I choose crumbs over perfection because crumbs show that we are living life and creating memories. And that, to me, is far more valuable.

So yes you can maintain your home, have a few crumbs without the need of being perfect and being overwhelmed with a mess. 

Love,