I can’t believe August is almost over.!! July came and went like a blink of an eye. It has been awhile since I have written a blog. I am really not sure why that is, I had intentions to write some blogs, but I just didn’t for different reasons like…in July I didn’t really work, kids were tracked out of school, we had vacation and I was sick for half the month. August kids were in school and I was trying to get caught up with life. It took me so much longer to get back to things, like creating recipes and writing blogs. 

But the truth is my life isn’t perfect and August has been a huge learning and growing month for me personally. I’ve always been really good at time management and organization. Now that I am a mom, these two things are hard for me. I feel like I am always picking something up off the floor or organizing something in one of the kids rooms. There are days I feel like I am dropping kids off, coming home to work out, shower and I am turning around to go get them from school. Some days I am super productive and get a lot done, other days I am like where did the time go? I get sidetrack doing something for the kid or I am trying to get too much done in a little time.

So I had to take a step back and really evaluate some things and look at things differently. I really needed to make some changes for myself to be a better wife, mom and friend. I started with making some changes to my morning and night routine. First of all I have made a huge effort to get 7 hours of sleep. I need 7 hours of sleep to be in a good place for the hubs and kiddos. When I don’t get a good night’s sleep it affects me a lot. I also started getting up at 5am. When we moved into our new home, I got a chair and half for my office. It was meant to be a place where I could do my devotions and have alone time if needed, kind of like my sanctuary. Instead it became a timeout chair. Well when I started getting up at 5am to spend time with God and doing my devotions, I decided to take my chair back and  spend about 20-30 minutes with God and doing devotions. The downstairs is quiet and peaceful, just what I needed. This time is bringing me closer to God and starting my day off right. It brings peace to me and strength to get through the day. The devotional I am currently doing is a women’s Bible study my sister gave me a year. I am finding some peace with things I have been struggling with like being the perfect mom to these kids. As a mom I know it is hard to think that you are failing as a mom. I totally get this. Some days I feel like everything I do is failing these kiddos. But through this devotional I am learning that is not the case. I have to tell myself that God gave us these kids for a reason. I am their Mom, because God wants me to be their mom. 

I have always been a person with high expectations, and I am learning that I need to back off of this. I get caught up in the perfection I think people need to see from me. I have to take a huge step back and let things go. Especially the perfection piece. So Lele’s clothes are a mess, in her drawers and closet, but she is really learning to take care of her hair.  JJ has toys everywhere. Having him keep his legos in one place is a good focus for him. Because let’s be honest…stepping on a lego piece just hurts. When he picks up his toys, it takes him awhile, because he needs to give me at least 10 hugs while doing it and how can I say no to a hug? So Isabella doesn’t make her bed, but we got to spend time doing her hair for school. I realized me wanting everything to be perfect was rubbing off on the kids and that needed to change. No one is perfect but Jesus. So instead of having everything perfect we have a JR Target set up upstairs in the loft area so they can all play together. JJ’s room was rearranged so he could keep his hot wheels out. Lele asked me to go through her clothes and organize them with her, hoping this helps her. She wants to learn to be neat. Each of these kids are totally different and they all need to be loved in different ways. 

Yes I learned that I am not failing as a mom and I am doing a good job. The kids are truly happy and healthy. Our home is full of love, laughter, kindness, chaos and some dirt. Yes we have some tough days, but we have many good and great days. Kids feed off their parents more than we realized. The idea of perfection needs to go out the window and the idea of being who God wants us to be is what I need to teach my kids. Giving our best and not giving up. On the hard days I remember that I am loved by God and He will give me the strength and patience to be the mom the kids need. 

So as I continue to embrace these changes of letting some things go and not everything has to be perfect. I vacuum the downstairs every day, I can’t stand that dirt on the floor and it brings me calmness in a way. I make sure I focus on a few things with each of the kids and letting them grow into the person they are meant to be. Watching them grow up is such an amazing thing. I just love these kids so much!!! 

To all the moms out there you’ve got this and I am cheering you on ????

Billie-Jo