As moms, we’re no strangers to making mistakes. Sometimes those mistakes are small and other times, they carry more weight. Recently, I realized I made a mistake that was affecting my marriage with Jimmy. December was a tough month for us, but we got through it stronger. However, in the weeks following, things felt a little off. It was as if we had just “survived” the chaos, and in doing so, we let some of our regular habits slip, ones that usually keep our relationship strong.

The realization hit me hard when I saw that I hadn’t been filling Jimmy’s love tank. And when I looked at how things were going between us, it made sense—there was some tension and stress creeping in. The past few nights, I had hoped for quality time together, but instead, we ended up in disagreements. I found myself getting frustrated with him over the same issues and that’s when I took a step back.

I didn’t want to continue the cycle of frustration and arguing, so I turned to prayer. I asked God to show me what I was doing wrong, instead of focusing on what Jimmy was doing. That’s when it hit me—God gently reminded me, “Are you filling his love tank?” And the answer was no.

Jimmy’s love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. As a busy mom, I know how easy it is to get caught up in the daily whirlwind—work, kids, chores, everything. And it’s easy to forget that small actions, like showing affection, really matter to your partner. So, I had to ask myself: How could I prioritize filling Jimmy’s love tank again?

Here’s what I’ve started doing to rebuild that connection:

• Physical touch: Even though it’s not my love language, I know it’s important to him. Now, I make an effort to snuggle when we’re watching TV, hold his hand when we walk together, and make sure to give him a hug or a kiss when he leaves or comes home from work—even if I’m in the middle of something. These little gestures go a long way.
• Words of affirmation: I’ve started sending him Bible verses or encouraging texts throughout the day. I’ll call him out of the blue just to say “I love you,” and I’m making sure to do the little things that remind him I care.

Admitting I was wrong wasn’t easy—let’s be real, none of us like admitting when we’ve messed up. But I realized that humility and forgiveness are key to moving forward, not just in marriage, but in all relationships, even with our kids. And I know we all get a do-over every day. That means we have the opportunity to start fresh, make things right and work towards stronger connections with our loved ones.

As I’ve been reflecting on this, I’ve realized how important it is for busy moms to not only take care of others but to nurture the bond with our partners too. We can’t forget about that love tank—it needs attention just as much as the rest of our daily tasks.

So, if you’re feeling like something’s a little off in your relationship, take a moment to check in with yourself. Are you filling your partner’s love tank? Even the smallest effort can make a big difference in bringing back that connection and making your relationship stronger.

Love,

Billie-Jo

The Simplified Mom