It’s been a long week and the week isn’t even over yet. I half joke with Jimmy and the kids, it’s not your day to be mad at me. It seems like everyday one of the kids wakes up mad at me. I learned months ago, when the kids are made at their birth mom due to a memory or flashback, they take it out on me. That was really hard for me to accept in the beginning, because I felt like I was failing. But the truth is that I am not failing and it’s all gonna be okay. I’m the person they take things out on, not Jimmy.
I had to remind myself that things are gonna be okay after the rough week we had. JJ is going through a season and there have been some hard days. Days that I have just sobbed and totally go to bed thinking I am failing him. Isabella is so darn cute but man she knows how to push my buttons with lying to my face. Like girl I can tell when you are lying and I already know the truth so just tell the truth. I thought the know it all attitude would come around age 13, but Lele has proven me wrong on that. I know nothing and she knows everything. She also has to mind everyone’s business. Boy does she like to argue. I used to argue back with her, now I try to say I’m not arguing with you. She will continue to argue so I’ll walk away or ignore her. I have to remind myself It’s gonna be okay, because they are all going through a season and I just need to love them and show them love. I have to remind the kids it will be okay.
One day this week I had to tell myself over and over and over it’s gonna be okay. Being a business owner is very emotional. I relaunched my newsletter this week and I was so excited about it. But there are times I want to throw in the towel and give up on my business. This week I read from a few different people about not giving up and pressing on. It requires determination, courage, and believing in myself. Those things aren’t always easy, especially when there are people in your life you want to believe in you and don’t. I realize this week it doesn’t matter if other people believe in me, it matters if I believe in myself. Yeah it sucks and hurts when people you want to believe in you, don’t believe in you. It’s important to remind myself of what it true.
Keep going and it’s gonna be okay has been a learning lesson over and over. Right now we are trying to teach JJ to ride a bike. He has to practice at it, so he doesn’t fall all the time. I had a conversation with Lele, just because you don’t get something right the first time, it doesn’t mean you give up. We are all gonna fall, but we get back up and know it is gonna be okay.No matter what happens it’s gonna be okay. I have to keep pressing on and not give up. An example I have to set for my kids on a daily basis.
Reflections From My Kitchen 💕
Billie-Jo
