We are a couple weeks into a New Year. What are some things you are set out to do differently this year? I am gonna share with you what I am doing differently and why over the next few weeks. Some of the things I actually started doing in the last few months of 2023. The reason why I started changing things was I was tired of chaos and really wanted a simpler life for my family. Truth be told I couldn’t wait to undecorate from Christmas, not because I was tired of the decorations. I really wanted to continue the process of decluttering the house and make our home a little more simple for the family. 

Last year we basically took everything out of JJ’s room for different reasons. Before you think I am a horrible mom, let me explain to you why. Not that I have to, but I will. The two main reasons, his room was always chaotic (drives me crazy) and he wasn’t taking care of anything in his room. He was so used to living in chaos from his previous life, that it became the norm for him. We wanted to change that way of living for him and he wanted to change it too, even if it was hard. Also when he would have a meltdown, he would take it out on things in his room. Throw them, break them, you know, he had been so used to living in chaos, so making his room more chaotic was comforting for him, but not in a good way. I was drained, I had enough and I wanted so much more for him. He deserved so much better. In this book Jimmy and I were reading it said that kids with trauma have so much going on in their head that they don’t function well with a lot of stuff. Wow that explained a lot. His mind is full of chaos and what he had been used to was comforting to him. So making his room simpler was the way to go.We started seeing a change in him and the way he was dealing with things. We would take a few steps forward and a few steps backwards. As he is growing, we have rearranged his rooms a few times. Added toys back in his room and took them back out, added them back into his room, until we found a good balance for him. 

What we have found is that at certain times he can handle more things in his room. He has books on a bookshelf, we like to encourage him to read. Sitting on a poof, reading is one way for him to calm down and get himself in a good place. He has Hot Wheels and Lincoln Logs in bins in his room. They are out of sight under his loft bed. He pulls them out when he wants to play with them, but the constant mess isn’t always there to cause more chaos. After we simplified our bedroom and the girls’ bedrooms, we moved some furniture around and we gave him Lele’s desk for the loft for his legos. 

One thing I learned, kids can have too much stuff. Kids’ brains can’t handle a lot of things, they are growing and learning every day. Some kids grow and learn quicker than others, while others grow slower. Some kid’s brains are like waffles, where they are compartmentalized and organized. While others are like a plate of spaghetti, creative and imaginative, one thing leads to another thing. Remember each kid is different and what works for one child  might not work for another child. JJ is like a waffle where everything has to be simple and easy for him to process. But he was so used to living in chaos that it caused more chaos for him, which caused more stress for everyone. 

Now can you see why I was so excited to undecorate? I wanted to take that same approach to every area in our house. So I am bringing you along on the journey, hoping it helps you and inspires you. 

In the weeks to come, I will continue to share with you what I have done to help you.

Love,

Billie-Jo

PS-Plus I will be making a course to really help you simplify your life and declutter your house.